The Dos and Don’ts of Breakup Etiquette

Ah, breakups. Those messy, emotional tangles that leave us feeling lost and heartbroken. They are a part of life, but that doesn’t make them any easier. If you are facing the difficult decision to end a relationship, you might be wondering how to navigate the situation with kindness and respect. Here is the thing, there is such a thing as breakup etiquette!

Let’s be honest, breakups are rarely smooth sailing. But, by following a few simple guidelines, you can minimise the drama and pain for everyone involved, including yourself. So, grab a cuppa, take a deep breathand let’s delve into the dos and don’ts of breakup etiquette.

The Dos

Do It in Person (Ideally): Texting or ghosting might seem like the easier option, but it is a cop-out. Your partner deserves a face-to-face conversation, especially if you have been together for a significant amount of time. Find a private, quiet space where you can both talk openly and honestly.

Choose Your Timing Wisely: Don’t break up with someone when they are already stressed or going through a tough time. Pick a neutral moment when you can both have a calm conversation.

Focus on “I” Statements: Instead of blaming or attacking your partner, explain your feelings using “I” statements. For example, “I feel like we have grown apart” or “I am not happy with where things are going in the relationship.”

Be Honest (But Kind): It is important to be honest about why you are ending the relationship, but there is a difference between honesty and cruelty. Avoid name-calling, dredging up past mistakes or making accusations. Focus on the present and your own needs.

Respect Their Feelings: Breakups are painful. Acknowledge their hurt and allow them to express their emotions. Listen patiently and offer space if they need it.

Consider Offering Closure (If Appropriate): Sometimes, a clear explanation for the breakup can help your ex-partner move on. However, don’t feel obligated to provide a detailed laundry list of their shortcomings.

Set Boundaries (with Compassion): After the breakup, it is important to establish healthy boundaries. This might mean taking a break from contact, especially if social media is a temptation. Be clear and upfront about your needs, but do so with compassion.

Focus on Self-care: Breakups take a toll. Make sure you are taking care of yourself emotionally and physically. Reach out to friends and family for support, engage in activities you enjoy and prioritise your well-being.

The Don’ts

Don’t Do It in Public: A public breakup is humiliating and disrespectful. Find a private space where you can both have a conversation without an audience.

Don’t Be Vague or Wishy-washy: Be clear and upfront about your decision. Stringing someone along or giving them false hope is only going to prolong the pain.

Don’t Try to Place Blame: Breakups are rarely one-sided. Avoid assigning blame or making your partner feel like the sole reason things aren’t working.

Don’t Badmouth Your Ex: Resist the urge to talk negatively about your ex to friends, family, or on social media. The higher road is always the better option.

Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep: Don’t say things like “Maybe we can get back together someday” if you don’t genuinely believe it. This will only give your ex false hope.

Don’t Rush into a Rebound Relationship: Give yourself time to heal after the breakup before jumping into a new relationship. Rebound relationships are rarely built on a solid foundation and can often cause more problems.

Don’t Stalk Your Ex: It might be tempting to check their social media profiles or try to run into them “accidentally,” but resist the urge. Give yourself and your ex space to move on.

Breaking Up Doesn’t Have to Be Brutal

Breakups are tough, there is no getting around it. But, by following these tips and approaching the situation with empathy and respect, you can navigate this challenging time with a bit more grace.

Remember, breakups are a normal part of life. By following these tips and seeking support when needed, you can emerge from this experience stronger and more prepared for healthy relationships in the future.